If you are coming from Building Heavenly Bridges (BHB), WELCOME and if you are finding me for the first time and looking for support after a loss, then please check me out at my grief/loss blog!

This blog is a series of anecdotes from our life after losing our first child, a stillborn daughter, then going on to birth the two other lights of our lives!

Bear is 6: serious, organized, my cruise director and my time keeper.

The Comedian is 4: She is pure comedy always doing something unintentionaly funny that I attempt to put into words.

Enjoy our stories, conversations, and delights as we embrace the lives of our second and third daughters without ever negating our first.

Children's Widsom - Quote of the week...

Children's Widsom - Quote of the week...
"I Wish Emma Was Alive Because I Would Tell Her Where The Bathroom Is"

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

4 and 6 "In The New Year"

"How old are your girls?"

I get this question all the time. My answer has become rote, "Four and six in the new year".

I said this last night to a party of four dining at the fancy Italian resturant I work at and they pointed out, with a somewhat obvious tone, "Um - the new year is at hand."

Yes - it sure is. And I can't believe it. I remember uttering other age-related phrases over the years.

"Three and five must be better" escaped my utterly exhausted lips more than an appropriate number of times. The Comedian didn't master the art of sleeping through the night until three. I don't do sleep deprivation well. Neither does Bear. Nuff said.

"They are big for their age." They are. Both are tall and look like they could easily be confused for the next grade up.

And - as you already know, there be a whole-lot-a-bickering going on in the last few months between my nearly 4 and 6 year old souls. "They are searching for their place in this family" I explain to - well - myself really. To be honest - I'M LOST! As an only child, these "typical" sibling behaviours swirl around me like vultures and cause me to cry, "What am I supposed to do?"

"Let them duke it out" my sweet husband replies with an unaffected tone. He's not an only. Right. Commence duking.

However, and I must say this, for all the sibling growing pains stretching our house's patience bubble - for all the stomping feet and slamming doors and high-pitched exclamations of "YOU NEVER GOING TO BE MY BEST SISTER E.V.E.R A.G.A.I.N!" - I have no desire to say anything about what 4 and 6 will look like.

I like where we are. I am grateful for every minute of every age. And while my head might be ready to explode with the substanceless arguements they choose to pursue to near-explosion level, I know wth ever fiber of my being I'd sell my soul to have Emma here, the 8 year old - the oldest sister, asserting her all knowing scowl over them while screaming right along with the crowd.

And so - as another post gets long and rambly...I'll leave you with pictures of my sweet and spicy girls on the days they turned 3 and 5. Not so long from now I will have new pictures, and maybe new stories - but I'm not holding my breath - just breathing in every bit of my children, just as they are.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Show and Tell: Christmas Update!

Ho! Ho! Ho! Santa came this year with a twinkle in his eye, a belly that wiggled like jelly and a moderate basket of gifts... Um...yes the white napkins are there. Shoot me - but it was just too cute a request! And - uh - stop looking at me like that, YES those are hand me down, bought for a few pennies at a yard sale barbies...but there are a FEW new things in that basket.

and a mildly repremanding scroll. (click HERE and scroll down to read his letter)

I cannot take credit for the eerie glow around the scroll. I guess Santa really meant business!!

The girls thought so too, and for 24 hours the spell held bringing with it calm words, kind hearts, lots of please's and thank you's and the sharing - Oh the sharing - it was enough to melt my heart and convince me that we have done something right on the rocky road called parenthood!

Oh - and here is a picture of my well-behaved family on Christmas.

Don't forget to see what angelic things others are showing and telling!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

If you can't beat 'em ... cave

"Oh - two years apart is a great spread" the random man in the waiting room who asked about my kids said to me as I paced around drinking a cocktail before my cat scan. "Three years apart and there is a lot of bickering and fueding but two years and they are so close, bonded for life."

Really? I hope he's right, but I gotta tell you there is a whole LOT of fighting going on in our house lately. Like - a WHOLE lot and it's conception isn't recent! They fight about everything! They push each others buttons in new and unusal ways. They are nearly 4 and 6. (I mention that in sincere hopes that 4 and 6 is better??)

The most over the top scenario I can give you to accentuate my point happened in the car last week as an ambulance passed us. Our family habit is, see an ambulance or fire truck and we pray for the family in trouble and the workers that are trying to help. (See, we are putting the goodness out there ...yes?) This is what I heard in the back seat.

Bear - "Dear God, please be with the..."

The Comedian - (screeching to get attention) "No Bear. You don't pray to God. You pray to Jesus" (calm now) Dear Jesus, please help ....

Bear - God
Comedian - Jesus
Bear - GOD
Comedian - JESUS

(I'm sure you get the idea. It got louder and screechier until I rocked both their world by telling them that they are related, Jesus being God's son and all, so you could pray to either)

Truly, I hope after their decade of teasing each other incessently, lusting after each other's hair type, stealing each other's clothes and just making each other's teenage years a living hell - I hope they do become the best of friends. I pray they tackle the world as a team, demoloshing any shady character who crosses their path, effectively kicking some butt to protect the other's honor.

But, until that day arrives we need a moducum of peace around here. Buttons need to be un-pushed for a while. So, as much as I struggled with Christmas this year - the giving to receive, the receiving in general, the expectations that kids have about presents, the lack of attention on the REASON we celebrate this holiday, and the just-now-weirding-me-out fact that we lie to our kids about Santa but ask them to come to us about anything...I have decided to C.A.V.E.

If I can't single handedly create a birthday party for Jesus under each Christmas tree complete with a sincere *gasp* from each child as they open a present and say, "Thank you so much! I am grateful for whatever I get", then I might as well use what the kids DO think about to my benefit.

This is the letter that will be accompaning the small basket of unwrapped gifts under the tree.

Ho! Ho! Ho! Miss Bear and Miss Comedian –

It was so nice to see you in Weston with your Nana and Papa. I took your lists home to the North Pole and read them…twice!

I checked my other list too -the Naughty or Nice list. I was happy to see that you were nice when you played alone, but there was a lot of naughtiness when you played together.

I really want you to share nicely. You will see some of the things you asked for and a few other gifts that are meant to be SHARED.

Next year, I hope I see your names in the Nice column – together! I’ll be watching…

Merry Christmas
Santa Claus

Am I going to hell? Well, if I do at least there will be some peace on earth (or at least in my living room) before I get there.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Show and Tell - Patches Abound!

If you are here from Show and Tell - WELCOME!

Some of you may have seen my previous post, about The Comedian and her EYE PATCH! As it was a nearly wordless wednesday (truly I can't use NO words - it's just not in me) I didn't explain.

She has had glasses for a year to try and keep a "floating eye" from becoming a "laaazzzzy eye". (sorry - kid movie reference). Anyway, at her six month check the machines said that her weak eye wasn't getting any stronger. At the 12 month check they said the same...even with the glasses.

So - here we are. One month of "arrrrgh maty" patches. But, the funny thing is SHE LOVES THEM! "It will take lots of convincing" the doctor said with a you will probably have to put your foot down kind of voice.

Nope. She asks for them in the morning - my sweet comedian girl. And - oh boy - does she LOVE the attention!!

So, for show and tell I present our current "eyedentity" collection - as decorated by both girls and worn with style!
These were decorated by Bear and the pictures below shows The Comedian's creations.

And don't forget, to go check out what else is showing and telling!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Nearly Wordless Wednesday!!!

(think 80's mega hit tune)..."I wear my sunglasses at night!""I wear my patch during the day!"

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Show And Tell - A lot of dough!

Cookie Dough That is!

What we DIDN'T have was...POWER! Thanks to the ice storm that beat up the North East we were blessed with a snowday to get caught up with our holiday prep! The cookie dough sat patiently until the power returned. We have now eaten more than our fair share and frozen the rest.

Oh - in case you were wondering. Bear is making good old fashioned Choc. Chippers and the small balls are a family recipe: Italian Anise Cookies. They look like this when baked and decorated.

Happy Baking and Eating! And - if you are looking for a good way to walk off some of those calories...try hauling your Christmas tree home, red-wagon style! (he-he)

What are you show and telling?

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Thoughtful Thursday - Bear

Have you heard the theory in parenting that goes..."It's never too early to talk about ____"?

Whatever you fill in the blank with: drugs, drinking, smoking, sex, and any other host of new things I don't even know the names for..."they" say you should talk about it early and often to set the tone of awarness and prevention.

As of yet, or most troubling social confrentation that dissolves our sweet Bear into uncontrollable giggles at the dinner table is, "And when T. drinks, he....burps, then drinks, then....burps some more." (And for my devoted readers from post one of this blog - this is the same first grade boy she has deemed stalker-worthy all year!)

So, the other night, after a bedtime story I thought - she's in a good mood. say something now. something non-challant. Just open a conversation.

Me: "Hey Bear. Has anyone at school ever talked to you about smoking?"

Bear: (thinks a minute - is very thoughtful with a pursed mouth. I am patting myself on the back for being so astute and blah..blah...blah - then she speaks) "Well, we do have fire drills and I know you are supposed to stop (pause for effect) - drop - and roll."

Yeah - she's not ready.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Show and Tell - "All I Want For Christmas!"

To say my girls are different is vast understatement. They are polar opposites from the core. One is serious, the other flexible. One takes the most direct route, refusing to acknowledge that there could be another way, the other takes life as it comes and tries every route once. It works - most of the time.

Of course there are those special moments in the year when the way they see and experience the world comes out in such a clear way, I cannot stop but pause, smile and embrace their differences.

When constructing out Santa wish lists this year, there was no talk of fairness. Bear didn't try to run the show. They seemed to understand that this was an independant task and neither criticized the other's selections. It was refreshing.

As I read them the crafty little poem I wrote, I could see their minds working... "Dear Santa -
I've been so very good this year - Please check your long list twice.
If you bring a toy or two - It surely would be nice.

For once, THEY seemed to embrace that they wanted different things.

Bear -serious with her pencil raised, sporting a contemplative pout as she recalled what she had told me the day before, sounded out her desires...documenting them phonetically, then drawing pictures on the corresponding line to be sure Santa couldn't mis-interpret.

Oh - sorry, you can't read Kindergarten writing? Please, let me interpret...

1. Uno Cards 2. Memory (game) 3 Piggie Bank 4. Big Soft Crunchy Snowman (don't ask)

The Comedian - rattled off her requests while in constant movement, skipping around the table - then stopping only to say an item in an, "it would be great if it appeared under the tree - but -eh, no biggie - they are just things" kind of voice.

As I hope can read the crayon writing of a thirty-something mother...I'll interpret Comedian style.

1. Teddy Bear - She cannot get enough stuffies.

2. Socks - Is she mearly practical? Maybe - but last week she had a HUGE hole in the heel of her sock that made a public appearance at the doctor's office. So, she needs new socks.

3. Napkins - And, white napkins to be specific. Um, our napkin holder is empty. That's it.

4. "you pick" - Damn...I love this kid!

Now, to see what the rest of the class is bring...skip, hop, or twirl over to Show and Tell.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Like Mother, Like Daughter?

As I read through my recent posts here I have to admit Bear seems to be absent. Where is she? She is at school!!

This, apparently, is a full time job. And, let my just add that we didn't sign her up for ANY of the extracurricular activities this year, in anticipation of how big a transition it would be. I can't even imagine my life right now if soccer ended only to have basketball begin. Eeeeeeekkkkkkk!
Regardless, I feel like she is never home. Up and out by 730 each morning. Home at three. A quality...hmm...hour or so. Then I cook. Dinner at 5. De-stressing "tiny-movie", as she has long called it, at 6:30 and bed at 7.

Um...I miss my girl. So, armed with this knowledge of what The Comedian's future will be in 2010-2011 (and I'm not kidding myself, OF COURSE she'll do all the extras, cause Bear will be by then) - I am taking full advantage of my 1:1 time with Ms. Comedian. 12:30 to 3:00 everyday is ours, and she is a completely different kid without the cruise director around. Well, she is her normal totally fun loving, flexible, not being told what to do by big sister, giggly and silly self. You can figure out the opposite behavior with just a tad of imagination!

So, without further ado...yet another adorable Comedian moment!

On Wednesday, a lovely free shipping box store delivered our new phones. (other ones were d.y.ing!) I connected, disconnected, charged - and yesterday I gave The Comedian the old phone as a toy.

"Where is the other one?" she asked
"Right here." I answered

And, THIS is what happened next...

Is she serious?

Ahhh - the sweet daughter, like crazy overcommitted mother.

Or, would THIS be a more accurate picture of said mother?

Hope you had a good laugh!