If you are coming from Building Heavenly Bridges (BHB), WELCOME and if you are finding me for the first time and looking for support after a loss, then please check me out at my grief/loss blog!

This blog is a series of anecdotes from our life after losing our first child, a stillborn daughter, then going on to birth the two other lights of our lives!

Bear is 6: serious, organized, my cruise director and my time keeper.

The Comedian is 4: She is pure comedy always doing something unintentionaly funny that I attempt to put into words.

Enjoy our stories, conversations, and delights as we embrace the lives of our second and third daughters without ever negating our first.

Children's Widsom - Quote of the week...

Children's Widsom - Quote of the week...
"I Wish Emma Was Alive Because I Would Tell Her Where The Bathroom Is"

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

If you can't beat 'em ... cave

"Oh - two years apart is a great spread" the random man in the waiting room who asked about my kids said to me as I paced around drinking a cocktail before my cat scan. "Three years apart and there is a lot of bickering and fueding but two years and they are so close, bonded for life."

Really? I hope he's right, but I gotta tell you there is a whole LOT of fighting going on in our house lately. Like - a WHOLE lot and it's conception isn't recent! They fight about everything! They push each others buttons in new and unusal ways. They are nearly 4 and 6. (I mention that in sincere hopes that 4 and 6 is better??)

The most over the top scenario I can give you to accentuate my point happened in the car last week as an ambulance passed us. Our family habit is, see an ambulance or fire truck and we pray for the family in trouble and the workers that are trying to help. (See, we are putting the goodness out there ...yes?) This is what I heard in the back seat.

Bear - "Dear God, please be with the..."

The Comedian - (screeching to get attention) "No Bear. You don't pray to God. You pray to Jesus" (calm now) Dear Jesus, please help ....

Bear - God
Comedian - Jesus
Bear - GOD
Comedian - JESUS

(I'm sure you get the idea. It got louder and screechier until I rocked both their world by telling them that they are related, Jesus being God's son and all, so you could pray to either)

Truly, I hope after their decade of teasing each other incessently, lusting after each other's hair type, stealing each other's clothes and just making each other's teenage years a living hell - I hope they do become the best of friends. I pray they tackle the world as a team, demoloshing any shady character who crosses their path, effectively kicking some butt to protect the other's honor.

But, until that day arrives we need a moducum of peace around here. Buttons need to be un-pushed for a while. So, as much as I struggled with Christmas this year - the giving to receive, the receiving in general, the expectations that kids have about presents, the lack of attention on the REASON we celebrate this holiday, and the just-now-weirding-me-out fact that we lie to our kids about Santa but ask them to come to us about anything...I have decided to C.A.V.E.

If I can't single handedly create a birthday party for Jesus under each Christmas tree complete with a sincere *gasp* from each child as they open a present and say, "Thank you so much! I am grateful for whatever I get", then I might as well use what the kids DO think about to my benefit.

This is the letter that will be accompaning the small basket of unwrapped gifts under the tree.

Ho! Ho! Ho! Miss Bear and Miss Comedian –

It was so nice to see you in Weston with your Nana and Papa. I took your lists home to the North Pole and read them…twice!

I checked my other list too -the Naughty or Nice list. I was happy to see that you were nice when you played alone, but there was a lot of naughtiness when you played together.

I really want you to share nicely. You will see some of the things you asked for and a few other gifts that are meant to be SHARED.

Next year, I hope I see your names in the Nice column – together! I’ll be watching…

Merry Christmas
Santa Claus

Am I going to hell? Well, if I do at least there will be some peace on earth (or at least in my living room) before I get there.


Kristin said...

That is BRILLIANT! I firmly believe in doing whatever works for you!

(hehehe, my word verification is "tales" as in tall tales...ROFL)

Martha said...

This is brillant, I love the Santa letter. My pediatrician told me to space my kids three years apart so the older child would be more their own person and not view me as an extension of them. My boys are the best of buddies, the worst of enemies, and if there is an outside threat, they circle the wagons.

CTagsGirl said...

Too funny. I agree. Stick with what works! :)

Have a very Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year!


momofonefornow said...

Awesome! You are so not going to hell for that. Now, had you signed it with God or Jesus that might start to get iffy. Seeing as how Santa has no bearing on eternity, no worries! :0)

Trish said...

Yes , Brilliant Letter I will borrow it next year or so. We have 2 yr twins and they fight , they fight ...did I say that twice.... but they do love each other.

I love your idea bout ambulances and fire engines ...super awesome.I am taking that on board too.

Merry Christmas

Here from ICLW...No. 88
My Little Drummer Boys

WiseGuy said...

It was so nice to read this post...OMG..Ugh...OMJ...G...J..G..J...

Anyways...are you in the list for good parenting award? Coz, the idea that your family prays for those who are passing by and possibly needing all the luck in the world, is so great! Congrats!

Dora said...

I think it's brilliant!

Barbara said...

Love the letter from Santa, genius!

WiseGuy said...

Hellos Again ! Hope you are having a great time! I got an award for you...Pick it up at:


MrsSpock said...

LOL...devilishly clever!

I just had a flash of Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny arguing:
"Wabbit Season!" "Duck Season!"

Cara said...

HA! Thanks guys - I'll update with pics soon. Arrgh and have much awardage to catch up on!!!

Anonymous said...

I think your letter from Santa is great! Do keep us updated on how they responded to it!

Anonymous said...

My brother and I are 2.5 years apart and fought all through childhood and adolescence...really FOUGHT.ALL.THE.TIME. It drove my mom crazy because she was an only child and didn't understand it, but my dad took it in stride because he was one of six. As soon as I left home for college my relationship with my brother began to improve, and now that I am 31 and he is almost 29, we get along 95% (except for arguing about spanking kids...he's for and I'm against...or politics...he's Fox News and I'm NPR) Anyhow, I like your idea for the letter and hope it works!