If you are coming from Building Heavenly Bridges (BHB), WELCOME and if you are finding me for the first time and looking for support after a loss, then please check me out at my grief/loss blog!

This blog is a series of anecdotes from our life after losing our first child, a stillborn daughter, then going on to birth the two other lights of our lives!

Bear is 6: serious, organized, my cruise director and my time keeper.

The Comedian is 4: She is pure comedy always doing something unintentionaly funny that I attempt to put into words.

Enjoy our stories, conversations, and delights as we embrace the lives of our second and third daughters without ever negating our first.

Children's Widsom - Quote of the week...

Children's Widsom - Quote of the week...
"I Wish Emma Was Alive Because I Would Tell Her Where The Bathroom Is"

Tuesday, March 24, 2009


My kids are desensatized to death.

I know this. They will soften to the idea once they reach the crucial years of reasoning and the ability to grasp abstract thinking. I mean, 'heaven' isn't such an easy place to rationalize.

They shrugged their shoulders when Tigger ran away. (presumed dead)

They had a few questions, then an "ok - that's too bad" when Ginger dissapeared forever.

And why would they think to cry and despair about a dead cat, requesting a burial in the backyard and to put special toys in the box? They speak with equal candor about Emma. THIS POST the most recent example of how The Comedian minces no words - or concepts.

Our remaining cat, sweet Sally, is pregnant. We have no idea when she's going to deliver the babies. (any of you know the gestation period for a cat??)
So... we sit around the dining room table and vote on the size of the litter. I say 4, hubby 6, the kids agree on 5. Then the question that struck me silent, "Mom, will all the kittens be alive or will some die?"

"Uh............................................" was the best I could manage for a good 30 seconds. Then I decided on the truth. It was something like this, "I hope they will all be alive, but I have known of kittens that died."

Their response? (In a very business-like tone) "Well, if they do die at least they will have Emma to play with them."

A smile was the best I could manage. My kids are ten times wiser then I ever will be.


Kristin said...

Gestational period for cats is about 2 months. Can't wait to see pics of the furbabies.

Martha said...

Hmm, you three ladies always make me think and cherish you all at the same time.
I don't know, densensitized? It seems more like Sensitized, your girls know of the Circle of Life through Emma. It reminds me of 100 years ago, when we had our wakes and funerals at home.
Thank you for your sweet comment, Cara. I'm glad we're friends.
Psst, Kristin is really smart, I would have to looked that up.

Kristen Andrews said...

darn cats only have to be pregnant for 2 months :( glad to meet you visiting from ilcw

Lori said...

How can your daughters' words make me both laugh and cry at the same time?

You are such a good mama, Cara.

WiseGuy said...

I had a cat while I was growing up....and I still have no clue about gestation period...She would always come around to our place for the delivery though.

It was such a hard-hitting question that Comedian asked.

Wisdom indeed!

Carrie said...

What wise children! I love that your little girl's mind went to a place of peace instead of a place of sorrow right away. You are a GOOD MOM! :)


Thanks for stopping by my blog! :)

Jo said...

Your girls are just precious.

(As a sidenote, I just read your last post about the education system. As a teacher, I TOTALLY and COMPLETELY agree with you. It is BEYOND ridiculous. But, until legislators can see the effects of their decisions firsthand, it's not going to get better. In our state, KINDERGARTNERS are tested (statewide, standardized tests) in Writing -- they are expected to write a COMPLETE SENTENCE USING CORRECT SPELLING/PUNCTUATION. Including a capital letter and a period. At five.



Stacie said...

Wise indeed. You do have some great kids.

Good luck on becoming a fur mommy again!

Anonymous said...

Very wise way to look at things. Your girls are very smart!


nancy said...

Yes, yes they are.

Jennifer said...

I'm smiling and crying at the same time. Your kids are amazing.


Beautiful Mess said...

What a sweet conversation. I love that the girls include Emma in their lives and their thinking. I think it's so beautiful.

MrsSpock said...

8-9 weeks I think. Talking about our wills and what kind of memorial I would want for myself with my very uncomfortable husband reminded me how desensitized I am to it too. And that isn't that bad. Death is a part of life.

What great girls you have.