If you are coming from Building Heavenly Bridges (BHB), WELCOME and if you are finding me for the first time and looking for support after a loss, then please check me out at my grief/loss blog!

This blog is a series of anecdotes from our life after losing our first child, a stillborn daughter, then going on to birth the two other lights of our lives!

Bear is 6: serious, organized, my cruise director and my time keeper.

The Comedian is 4: She is pure comedy always doing something unintentionaly funny that I attempt to put into words.

Enjoy our stories, conversations, and delights as we embrace the lives of our second and third daughters without ever negating our first.

Children's Widsom - Quote of the week...

Children's Widsom - Quote of the week...
"I Wish Emma Was Alive Because I Would Tell Her Where The Bathroom Is"

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Show and Tell : An Artist's Way

Per my recent post, it is no secret that my Comedian is the talker. (and the singer too -- if you haven't listened to her I love my whole family song, it's worth two minutes!) She processes Emma's existence, lack of physical being, and place in this family in a stream-of-consciousness way that can only be described as adorably bittersweet.

Bear, on the other hand, speaks rather infrequently, but poignantly, about her sister. She is the more capable of the two with regard to abstract thought making our conversations shorter and more to the point.

When you ask her how many kids are in our family her answer is an immediate, "three", her voice clearly conveying this is our normal, why should it be odd that we can't see her?

Just yesterday, when the difficult to latch front door swung open on its own, Bear slid past me to shut it. "Oh, Emma's here" she said, as normally as if she was noting the arrival of the mail.

I smiled. She gets it. It warms my heart.

The normalization of this within our home and how she takes it into the real world, however, is becoming a bit tricky. I always knew the two would eventually intersect, but thought of it continually as a futuristic challenge. A, 'we'll cross that bridge when we get there' kind of issue.

Well, we are there. I opened her Friday folder on the last day of school before vacation and found this.

Predictably, I burst into tears, savoring the moment and the message. My nearly 7 year old girl embracing her heavenly sister and the choices we make as parents in one card. With tears still in my eyes I turned to my husband and said, "Sometimes, it all makes sense. It is all worth it."

And then, I wondered how this card had been received by her teachers, by her classmates (if they saw it), what possessed her to do it in the first place, if there had been a residual conversation about it, or not.

True to form, Bear did not expand on her school experience. I simply told her how much this meant to me and asked if I could put it in her sister's scrapbook.

Her bright smile was answer enough.

My three girls are all alive in spirit, shining brightly this holiday season. The joy I have found in that is overwhelmingly beautiful.

I hope that you have shared a similar moment this holiday. Have you? In addition to seeing what everyone else is showing and telling, will you share your moment?

xoxo - Cara


Kristin said...

You have raised two wonderful little girls and I love the card Bear made you. It is so wonderful the way she incorporates Emma into her life.

Parenthood For Me said...

This is very touching. What a joyful experience. I too was not a talker. My mother said she would have to pry out of me what I did in school. I don't think I was that difficult:)

Anonymous said...

What a sweet moment thank you for sharing it.

Lavender Luz said...

Such love in your household.

Says a lot about the parents.

Beautiful, Cara.

Anonymous said...

This is a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing this with us.

Anonymous said...

That's so beautiful. (please excuse me while I wipe my eyes!)

WiseGuy said...

My three girls are all alive in spirit, shining brightly this holiday season. The joy I have found in that is overwhelmingly beautiful.

It touches my heart that there is such a beautiful vibe in your family environment.