WELCOME TO MY "OTHER" BLOG!

If you are coming from Building Heavenly Bridges (BHB), WELCOME and if you are finding me for the first time and looking for support after a loss, then please check me out at my grief/loss blog!



This blog is a series of anecdotes from our life after losing our first child, a stillborn daughter, then going on to birth the two other lights of our lives!

Bear is 6: serious, organized, my cruise director and my time keeper.

The Comedian is 4: She is pure comedy always doing something unintentionaly funny that I attempt to put into words.

Enjoy our stories, conversations, and delights as we embrace the lives of our second and third daughters without ever negating our first.

Children's Widsom - Quote of the week...

Children's Widsom - Quote of the week...
"I Wish Emma Was Alive Because I Would Tell Her Where The Bathroom Is"

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Show and Tell - Teaching Tolerance (UPDATED with A Vocabulary Lesson)

THIS MORNING I WOKE TO A COMMENT THAT STOPPED ME IN MY TRACKS:
BARBARA WROTE: "Beautiful lesson, your lovely girls are going to grow up into such nice people.But Cara, I take exception to the word "tolerance"! You're teaching acceptance, much more comfortable to live with than tolerance!"

SHE'S ABSOLUTELY RIGHT - AND, INTERESTINGLY - THAT'S THE MEANING I THOUGHT I HAD CONVEYED. CLEARLY, WE ACCEPT THESE LOVELY LADIES AND THEIR CHOICES.

MY RESPONSE TO HER READ: "You know Barbara - you are exactly right...and until I read your comment I didn't realize that it read differently. See what I mean? Long standing gifts from the generations die hard, even with word choice!"

SO AS YOU READ PLEASE KNOW, MY LINGUISTIC CHOICES ASIDE, WE ARE TEACHING ACCEPTANCE.

***

I write often enough about parenting after loss, a difficult and emotional task to be sure.
But what I haven't written much about is parenting in the 21st century. The melting pot that is this great United States of America gives us ample opportunity to teach our children the fundamentals of humankind: love, respect, personal choice, and tolerance just to name a few.

The biases of the previous generations are hitting a roadblock with us, the 'new age' parents, who embrace the opportunity to impart the building blocks of life: self respect, reverence for others, and emotional freedom.

I am not a politician, in fact the mere idea of politics in it's basest form wigs me out more than picking half hatched nits out of my children's gorgeous hair. I am, however, conviced that if we don't model these lifestrageties for our children, along with basic truths like you choose your experience, it is what it is, and exist in this moment, that the cyclical nature of old intolerances will remain embedded, indeed encouraged to a degree, to the upcoming generation we are molding.

Those of you that read here regularly know I live in Vermont. You may also know the recently passed law from my home state. We went to a wedding this weekend. This is the conversation I had with Bear the day before.

Me) Bear, remember earlier this summer we went to a wedding?

B) Yes, it was beautiful.

Me) It sure was. What did you like best about that wedding?

B) The colors. (It was a cross -cultural experience of Christian and Tibetan descents)

Me) I like the colors too. Why do you think they got married?

B) Because they love each other.

Me) Yes, they do love each other very much. So what do you think marriage is all about?

B) Loving, and celebrating, and spirit. Putting the spirit together and celebrating your love -- like you and daddy.

Me) Absolutely Bear. You are exactly right. When two people feel like their hearts talk to each other, that kind of love, they want to be together forever -- so they get married. And, at that wedding it was a man and a woman.

B) Yes, the princess was so pretty!

Me) And, sometimes a woman and a woman get married.

B) Are they from a different country?

Me) No. They are from the United States, in fact - they live in Vermont, like you.

B) Does that mean sometimes a man and a man get married too?

Me) Yes. That's exactly what it means, if they have that special forever kind of love.

B) Who's getting married tomorrow?



These two lovely ladies held one of the first legal ceremonies in the State of Vermont, and I consider our family lucky to have been there to witness, then celebrate their love.
And their amazing cake!


And their 'off the hook' first dance. It's Apparently it's all the current rage and worth a click over!

9 comments:

karlindaadoption said...

How on earth did they find the time to rehearse that and organised a wedding? :)

Congrats to the pair of them.

becomingwhole said...

Just when I was getting over my cake-lust, came that dance! How DID they have time to rehearse it and get the wedding together?

I bet the whole thing was lovely.

Kristin said...

Great way of explaining it to the kiddo.

That cake was amazing and, OMG, how long did they have to practice to get the dance down pat. That was amazing.

T Lee said...

That cake is fabulous... and the lesson for the kiddies was even better ;-D

Barbara said...

Beautiful lesson, your lovely girls are going to grow up into such nice people.

But Cara, I take exception to the word "tolerance"! You're teaching acceptance, much more comfortable to live with than tolerance!

Yummy looking cake and a fab dance.

xxx

areyoukiddingme said...

I'm guessing they're from my generation - where everyone knew the Thriller dance! That's fantastic.

sunflowerchilde said...

How beautiful! And I really appreciate the linguistics lesson as well. I never thought about it, but acceptance really is a much better word than tolerance. Thanks!

Jen said...

that was lovely. thank you so much for sharing with us. congrats to them, may they lead a long healthy life together

Martha said...

So beautiful, thanks for sharing and my best to the Bride and Bride!
Your kids crack me up, "What number am I again?" ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. thanks, Comedian