Show and Tell: At Least They Don't Have Wings

That's what my pastor said about the lice Comedian came home with, "At least God gave them a weakness or we'd ALL have them!"

Currently, you would be hard pressed to convice me why he created them at all... I mean, they don't really serve a purpose except to cause a known-to-be patient mother to choose to pull out her OWN hair in frustration that she has to force her child to endure yet another sitting of 'just checking'! Even so, she does look pretty damn cute, no?

In case you need a reminder of her 'former do', check the sidebar!! And, spare me a little golf clap as I did it myself. Well, if you count putting it in a ponytail and cutting, then attempting to shape a little so it didn't look so uneven.

Oh, we were canning corn today.

After the tomatoes of last week...

And Jer went crazy on the green beans, turnips, carrots and who knows what else the weekend I was away.

That's my life right now. Work, preserving, and nit picking!

What are you showing and telling?

Show and Tell - The Art of the Quickie

Um...no - don't go there. This is a parenting after loss blog after all!

But my DSL connection is reallllllly slow tonight and so, here goes a quickie S and T of the GIRL's weekend...(updated to say that my connection died last night so a morning post it is!)

Bear's Bag

Comedian's bag

Two really excited girls to go to two really fun sleepovers for the weekend!!! Yeah - no mommy and daddy for 48 whole hours!! (seriously - they didn't even say a real goodbye to us, just ran an played with their friends!)
They made bears at their Nana and Papa's house. Must.Show.Off

Bear named hers "EmmaBear" - my heart melted.

Comedian passed out. The aftereffects of a really FUN weekend!

So, that's that for my driveby show and tell...what is everyone else showing?

The First Day of School

The first day of school is never easy. Transitioning is always hard.

Today was really hard. Bear struggled immensly with her emotions, riding the rollercoaster of tears, frustration, anger, fear, worry, anticipation, hope, and who knows what other anxiety based emotions.

Tomorrow is her first day of first grade.

As I watched her, trying my best to stay buckled in the same seat she was as she hit the peaks and valleys of her emotionally charged day, I broke inside.

I saw my little girl fighting to regain some sense of control as her world spun out of control. I saw her clothes get folded, then re-folded, and strictly organized in drawers. I saw shoes come flying at my head matched only by the murderous look in her eyes. I saw her cower in the backseat of the car, not wanting to be there but not wanting to get out either.

Quite simply, I saw myself.

I saw the person I become when grief overwhelms. I know those feelings of despair partnered with the need to compartentalize my life. I know far too well how it is to want and not want something equally at the same time. And so my heart breaks a little more each time it happens to her.

GAD - General Anxiety Disorder, that's what they call it. "Basically", one psycologist told me, "life just stresses her out, at times more than others."

Yeah. No kidding. Poor kid.

We have had a relatively good summer with regard to her stress triggers. We have introduced a few new techniques and strategies she can choose to use when she feels her body starting to get out of control. Today, nothing worked.

I am starting my new job tomorrow so I can't be there for her first day. Daddy will walk her to school and pick her up. That will be enough, I tell myself knowing he is a calming force for her, but oh how I wish I could be there too.

Her backpack is ready. Her lunch is packed. Her outift is picked out.

"Mommy" she whispered to me at bedtime, "I'm sorry I was so not controlled today. I'm just so scared to go. I'm just so nervous."

She finally said it outloud. For that I did a happy dance, right there in her bedroom and the corners of her tired mouth reluctantly started to turn.

"I know" I whispered back, "We both start new things tomorrow. I'm nervous too."

And as she closed her eyes we hugged. I pray her dreams will be peaceful ones.

Show and Tell - GRIEF IN THREE PART HARMONY

Last year on an ordinary day I saw a call out for writers on the LFCA. A new ezine was in the works, one for infertiles and families living after the loss of a baby.

I pounced. I wrote a sample piece. I was lucky enough to be chosen as one of the first columnisnts for Exhale magazine. My column title? Meditations On Life After Loss.

Exhale has grown so very much over the last nine months. Each issue is available now in PRINT format for a donation of $5! Woo-hoo, look as us growing!

This month my column is a bit different. It is a piece on Parenting After Loss. I thought it appropriate to share as my show and tell for it took me A LOT longer to write than others preceeding it.

This is an emotional issue I have been wrestling for some time now. Please, if you have a response - leave it. If you are a few years ahead of me on this PAL journey, tell me so - with some nice, flowery, what-I-might-expect-to-see-in-a-couple-years story...perhaps.

Thank you for allowing me to tell our story. Thank you for helping me to write a happy ending.

Enjoy - Meditations on Parenting After Loss - GRIEF IN THREE PART HARMONY.

What is everyone else showing and telling?